Cryin’ & Eatin’

I worked out today but that’s the only thing that went well.  Hormones made me hungrier than usual and I thought it would be OK because I would start a fast after dinner.  But my son went back to school tonight and he wasn’t happy about it which just broke my heart. So I made the decision to keep eating.  I just decided emotions + hormones was more than I could bear.  Tomorrow will be a new day.  I’m just waiting for him to text me when he gets to his dorm.  I think once he’s there safely and I know he’s OK, I can settle down.  The semester will be over soon.

 

Making Adjustments

Too much food this weekend, not enough working out.  Argh!  I think I am going to try to not snack on the days I eat.  Like not eat tiny little meals, eat decent meals that fill me up, but no snacks.  Maybe one midnight snack.  I know now that I can go 24 hours without food, I can go a few between meals, right?  That’s the direction I am leaning.  Part of me wants to go hardcore and do like 20:4 or something, but I don’t know . . . I don’t want to do myself in.

 

Slightly Off-Course

Thursday night’s yoga class was much more do-able.  It was still incredibly challenging in a really good way but a pace I could better keep up with.  Everything has that same slightly sore feeling I get from strength training and I don’t think it’s a good idea to do both?  Maybe it is.  I don’t know.  But if I only do one it will be the yoga.

I can see why people start to think they can/should fast more once they start.  Once you realize that you can fast for 24 hours without dying, you realize you can do more.  I am thinking of different ways I can cut back more.  Not sure what I will do yet.

I haven’t worked out since Thursday’s yoga.  I took yesterday off because I was just exhausted. Then The Big Kid surprised me last night and came home for the weekend.  I skipped yoga this morning because he said he wanted to do breakfast but then he changed his mind.  So I ended up doing nothing today.  I need to get back on course.

Yoga!

Well yoga class was certainly interesting.  I need to implement two new rules.  No fasting on yoga days, no strength training on yoga days.  So, I went into this class having eaten nothing but a burrito (and thank god I broke my fast an hour early and ate that) and having already done my strength training and intervals walk.  Such a bad, bad idea.  LOL  This class was insane.  I kept up as long as I could and probably would have kept trying had I not felt the tell-tale “I am going to pass out” feeling.  I figured it would be more embarrassing to faint than to sit down.  That class was insane.  But in a good way.  I will like it a lot once I get the hang of it and it will help tremendously to go into class prepared.  The pace last night was very fast and the teacher told me that she has 17 routines and only 2 are that fast-paced.  So tonight might be better.  If it’s like last night, even at a slower pace, I am going to count the class as my strength training and back off of the weights.  I could have counted last night as cardio too.  We’ll see if the same can be said for tonight.  I might end up doing C25K on non-yoga days and just yoga class on yoga days.  Sundays off.  But today I am doing nothing until yoga class.  I want to be well-rested, haha!

My weight was way down this morning.  I started recording weight on Monday and I have lost 3.8 pounds as of this morning.  Um, OK.  I will take it, thanks.  I am just going to keep doing what I am doing.  I think the point is to learn how to eat on my own without needing to track calories.  So I am going to try to do that.  If I ever plateau I will have to figure out how to adjust, maybe have to track for a while.  But maintenance with exercise at my goal weight should also be around 1800.  So if I just continue to eat as I am, that should take me all the way down, albeit slowing down as I get closer to goal.

I have to say that this is hands down the easiest diet I have ever done, surpassing even Stop the Insanity back in the day.

Oops

I’m such a kook.  I was on auto pilot this morning and I popped my burrito in the microwave and then realized I can’t eat it.  Oops!  At least I realized before I took a bite.  I told my husband that he and the kid can just make salads tonight and I will eat the burrito. Don’t feel bad for them.  There’s steak strips and croutons and cheese to put on their salads.  They’re not sad salads, plus the kid LOVES salad, he’s so weird.

I have to say I am pretty excited, my weight is dropping!  Even eating as I am, I must be hitting a deficit.  The scale has been down the past two days.  I know that weight loss comes down to CICO but I still wonder about the effects of certain things.  Like the fasting, once glycogen is gone, the body starts burning fat so is it actually burning more fat than if I spread my weekly deficit out evenly?  I don’t buy into starvation mode but I wonder if the body doesn’t react better to a slight deficit because it doesn’t think it’s starving so it says hey cool, plenty of food, just need a smidge more energy, let me burn this fat.  Because I have done plenty of days at low calories and not seen the scale drop like it is now.  I don’t know, the body is a weird machine and I don’t claim to fully understand it.

I am listening to The Fast Diet on YouTube.  I don’t know why I get so wrapped up in reading and watching everything I can about whatever diet I follow.  This guy fasts twice a week, but not for 24 hours.  He eats 500-600 on his fast days.  He says the 24 hours like I do would be too hard.  But I think his way would be unpleasant.  When I start eating again, I want to eat again.  I don’t want to eat one meal and then have to go back to fasting.  Or to spread it out into tiny little meals over the day.  No, I’d rather ride out the 24 hours and then be back to normal.  Plus I like the idea of fasting for 24 hours, your body has to burn fat, it’s not getting any food, and your system completely empties.   What’s funny is he just talked about snacking and said it doesn’t make us eat less at mealtimes, it just whets the appetite.  Precisely why I can’t do a random 500 on fast days.

 

Running!

Started a fast tonight after dinner.  I didn’t track again today and to be honest, I am not sure how I did calorie wise.  I definitely need to make tracking a habit again.  I think I will find it much less painful since I am allowed to eat a decent amount.  And I want to work on improving the quality of what I eat.  My breakfast is a frozen burrito but it’s a very natural brand so it really is just a tortilla, eggs, cheese and veggies.  Lunch varies, I should work on it.  And dinner is usually something I cook from scratch with the occasional box of mac and cheese thrown in, but we buy Annie’s, which I feel better about.  My snacks tho.  Pop Tarts, Fiber One cheesecake bars, Rice Krispies treats, frozen yogurt bars.  Nothing is bad about any of that, I just need to dial it back and add more fresh fruit and veg.  I feel like since I get to eat more now, I can afford to have a treat, even daily, so I should make an effort to make the rest of it better quality.  You’d probably think if I only get a little food I should want it all to be “good” but when I’m already restricted quantity-wise, I don’t want to give up the “bad” food, no matter how counter-productive that is.  I don’t actually believe in good/bad foods.`But I do think some foods are more healthful and nutritious and we should eat more of those.

So, I did C25K today!  I did not feel any hip pain and none has set in after the fact.  Let’s hope that keeps up!  I also signed up for yoga and it starts tomorrow night.  So excited about that.  Maybe if I feel up to it I will do another walk after the yoga.  But maybe not as I am not allowed to eat until 6:00 and that’s when class starts.  I suppose I could go early and walk before class.  I should go to the gym early for my strength training and interval walk  tomorrow to spread it out.  I’ll probably  actually break my fast a bit early tomorrow.  What’s 23.25 versus 24 hours really?  So a light snack, then hit the gym for the walk and the yoga.

 

Forget Rules

So, one thing I have learned with Eat Stop Eat is to forget any rules except fast twice a week for 24 hours.  I keep thinking I will do this or that and it just doesn’t happen sometimes.  Today I didn’t track at all but I am not overly concerned, I had three meals and two snacks.  I don’t think I could have gone over 1800.  And I busted it at the gym today so my burn should be over that.

I got a little excited when I started this and bought a lot of yummy processed food.  I don’t think processed food is the devil but I would like to eat more real and fresh food.  I want to eat better.  I know weight loss is down to calories in/out but I want to be healthy.  I am watching Eat Fast, Live Longer.  The 101 year old guy running a marathon made me cry.  I want to run again!  I am going to start C25K tomorrow and see if my hip hurts.  It’s a completely controlled surface so if my hip starts to hurt, I’ll know it’s my body.

Still watching the film and it is so tempting to do alternate days.  But I shall resist.  Two days is definitely do-able but I don’t know about alternating days.  And I am finding it easier to hold back on eating days because I have been able to eat.  Like it’s midnight now, and I could eat but I am not miserable like when I am trying to eat 1200 calories, so I’m just not bothering.  When I first started I was definitely woohoo!  But I am moderating better now.  And in the film he has now gone from alternate day to the 5:2 pattern I am following.

I mean clearly, this works or people wouldn’t still be doing it.  I just need to see it happen for me.  The thing that’s crazy is almost every video I watch, from people doing it, say it’s so easy.  And it feels that way right now, which scares the shit out of me!  This has been so hard for me for so long that finding something this awesome just doesn’t seem possible.  I mean my MO is typically to start a new diet and make it 2.5 days and say screw it.  I hate counting calories and I never last long doing that.  I started my first fast on the evening of the 3rd so I have been doing this for just over a week.  But that’s only two fasts, so it almost feels like I am not doing anything.  That’s what is terrifying.