Ugh

I have been consistent with my yoga practice.  There’s that.  Eating has not been good.  And now there’s a new wrench in the works with acid reflux.  I get the kind that doesn’t burn, it puts a lump in my throat, makes it hard to swallow and causes me to cough.  I am about ready to see a gastro for it because my doctor kind of blew me off when I tried to explain it to her and told me my allergies were causing post-nasal drip.  Which they were, but this is not that and I can tell the difference.

I thought I would try and get a handle on it myself.  I took a course of OTC Nexium, which helped.  Today I ate a Korean pear and a banana for breakfast and a salad for lunch.  And here I sit with a damn lump in my throat.  It’s so hard to pinpoint what causes it.  I don’t think it’s my diet soda because I have had days of no reflux but I drink soda every day.  I don’t think it’s tomatoes. I’ve read that they’re bad but then I have also read that fresh are OK, it’s in a more concentrated form like tomato paste that causes issues. So possibly the salad dressing I used? It was garlicky.  Maybe garlic is a trigger.

I know losing some weight will help.  And today, yet again, I started down that path.  I have not been as hungry as I expected to be.  I had salad again for dinner, albeit a McDonald’s salad but it’s only 350 + salad dressing.  I think this menu might be too light.  I am going to look into cooking a bit more substantial meals next week.  Maybe still some salads but adding things like chicken.

I have been reading about food combining but I just don’t know if it’s worth the effort.  So rather than eat two or three pieces of fruit, I can go back to my more substantial and delicious breakfast burritos for about the same calories, or cook my own eggs and veggies. Which is what I will probably go with because three rules I am trying out are no processed, no dairy, no sugar.  And by no, I mean as little as I can.  I realize I’m probably going to occasionally have a little of something, whether by choice or because it’s hidden in my food.  I did get by today with so little and I managed it so I think I can do this if I can maintain this attitude I had today of, “I am not eating, I am done, this has to be fixed.”

Yes, I’m alive.

Gotta get in the blogging habit I suppose.  I’m still eating, still yoga-ing, still not running. I am pretty certain I haven’t lost any weight, even though I haven’t stepped on the scale in quite a while.

I am continually trying to eat better and trying to be OK with the body I have now.  Because I have had it for a long time and if I am not successful at conquering my issues with food, I’m kind of stuck with it.

 

Back at it

Right, Fourth of July weekend is probably not the best time to decide to get back on track. But so be it.  I am expecting things to not be fully on track until Tuesday.  Today wasn’t bad though.  I had a bagel, then had a ton of stuff to do today so I didn’t eat again until dinner, except for some crackers.  And then I had some blueberries after dinner. And I worked hard today, helping a friend move.

I bought good food for myself and I am using my new MFP profile to start over.  Total anonymity.  I hope.

Just did a yoga class from YouTube.  It was short and easy, which is perfect because I worked hard today and my power yoga class is in the morning.

Really want to get a yoga session in every day.

OK!

So, that last post about cleaning the bathroom?  It started an avalanche.  I got every single room of this house (except the boys’) sparkling clean.  I cleaned out and organized my walk-in pantry, my smaller pantry, the hall closet and the linen closet, oh and under the kitchen sink.  Many bins were purchased.  The house isn’t perfect but it’s much better and much more under control.

I sorted through a lot of things and found my old journals from right after I was married. This was when I was my lowest adult weight ever.  I was actually surprised to see how much I ate, and I was surprised to see that I lost four pounds in three months.  Apparently, I had a lot more patience then.  I am feeling like I should focus on myself now that the house is done.

I have been struggling with hip pain.  In my yoga class, if something causes a twinge, I can just modify or go into child’s pose.  I don’t want to do anything too extreme outside that class.  It’s hard and I do it three times a week.  I am thinking a moderate walk on the treadmill and some gentle yoga at home.

Running I hope will come later.  I hope losing weight can perhaps ease the hip pain?  I just looked up some yoga videos for the IT band, which is what I think my pain is.  I started playing one and she said the band is tight in people that sit a lot.  -_-  Oh.  Well, that explains it.  And probably explains why the sudden burst of activity is bothering it.  Well, we’ll work on that, then.

Eating, I need to get back to work on.  I’m going to keep skimming though the old journal and eat better.  Unfortunately, I have developed a new favorite food, baked feta.  It is certainly not low in fat!  (Or calories I suppose)

Clean Start

I have been on a mission lately to whip my home into shape.  When I tell you that I am a terrible housekeeper, I do not lie.  I could be worse.  We don’t have bugs or rodents, haha! But yeah.  My mother was very much a neat freak but not so much a clean freak, which I am only just realizing.  I don’t recall a routine, I was never taught how to keep house.  Oh I had plenty of chores, but I remember getting so annoyed as a kid when my mother would complain about me not knowing how to do something.  Hi, try teaching me, people aren’t born with this knowledge.  Also,  I had to do more than my share because I was a girl.  The moment that stands out in my mind is coming home in the afternoon, having been gone all day and being told to do the dishes in the sink.  Apparently, my father and brother, who had created all of the dirty dishes were rendered incapable of washing them due to their penises.  I don’t know.  ANYWAY.

I cleaned the hell out of my bathroom today.  It had been a minute and I had to do the following:

  • clean all products off of the counter
  • scrub the counter, sinks and faucets
  • sort through all the products removed and organize them (because they can’t all go on the counter)
  • clean mirror
  • clean out medicine cabinet
  • clean out drawer
  • clean cubby under the drawer, clean out and organize the set of little drawers we have in that cubby and everything that was hidden behind it
  • scrub cabinet fronts
  • scrub toilet
  • scrub tub
  • clear out all of the trash
  • sweep and scrub floors
  • wash bath mats
  • collapse from exhaustion

OK, I didn’t collapse.  I actually went to Dollar Tree because I realized that wiping down the counter will be so much easier if everything is in something that can be easily moved. I am trying to rectify problems like this as I realize them, so I went straight out to get those. Actually, I stopped at Sonic first for a milkshake.  Bourbon Brown Sugar.  I got a small and instantly regretted it.  I should have got a large.  SO GOOD.

I’ve found some good cleaning videos on YouTube and I have actually started a sort of “action” journal.  I write down weekly menus, to-do lists, take notes on cleaning, journal about my plans and accomplishments.  It’s nice.  I can’t really talk to anyone about cleaning because hi, boring.  But I am getting shit done.  And my husband is even noticing and pitching in.  Typically when I clean our room I leave his desk and nightstand alone. But he cleaned up his desk today.  So, we’re getting somewhere.  My kitchen has been clean for days but I was so tired tonight I did not clean up.  :/  I will straighten up the rest of the house tomorrow and rest.  Then the next day I will do the boys’ bathroom which thankfully is nowhere near the level ours was. Because guests use it, it stays pretty clean and I scrubbed the heck out of that toilet last night.  So I don’t know.  I may do it tomorrow too.

It’s funny, I have been working on the decor of the house for a while, obviously, but it’s always so messy and cluttered.  Now as I clean up I am loving it so much.

Well . . .

I’m eating and yoga-ing.  This yoga class is insanely tough but I am really committed to it so running (and any other exercise) has fallen by the wayside because I am so whipped after two days of class.  And I still haven’t even managed to go on a Saturday!  I think I will go in on Friday and see how walking feels.  I may just have to work back up to running again but that’s OK.

New Blog Name

I changed my blog name!  I have a Tumblr account with this name and for a very long time it was totally inaccurate.  But now I find myself taking a yoga class, starting C25K and learning how to eat.  I became my name.

I can’t remember which came first, the Tumblr or this.  But I wouldn’t have named this blog that at the time because it didn’t fit where I was and what I was doing.  The Tumblr was just photos and it didn’t seem as important.

I ordered some yoga clothes today and I am really excited.  I have been struggling a little with finding a shirt I like, not too tight or loose, not too short or long.  Bleh.  So I went to Kohl’s to see what I could find and I found a whole line of Gaiam yoga clothes!  They were out of a lot in my size, but I did try on a tank and it fit.  So I came home and went online ordered a tank (eek!) and a tee, plus two pair of harem pants.  I think I will feel less self conscious about my stomach and booty in a looser pant, and they’re elastic at the calf, so they shouldn’t be an issue if my legs go in the air.  That made the length of the shirts less important.  I think it will all work for me.  Oh!  And I was in the process of exchanging a pair of sandals (that took forever) and ended up with yoga sandals.  SO cute!041116-cents-of-style-yoga-2-clothe-stretch-sandals_web16

I am so excited to be moving in this direction.  I have been eating well, still snacking but I’ve cut it way down.  I have been making eggs with fresh veggies in the morning.  I bought stuff to make wraps for lunch and I have been eating leftovers.  I make a healthy dinner and the plan is to have a bit of chocolate at night.  But some peanut butter filled pretzels have slipped in there.  Not too bad all in all.

I spent four days with my mother this weekend.  It made me very aware of my negativity.  I need to rein that in if I don’t want to end up like her.  I shopped for a ring with the intention of getting something to remind me to calm down and stay positive.  But then I came across a semicolon ring and I could not resist.  (In case you don’t know the significance of a semicolon:  Project Semicolon)  But I am going to a big handmade show this weekend and I need one more bangle from a favorite vendor to round out my stack so I will look for something for the reminder.

So that’s the update!  It is super late, shame on me.  I will need to nap tomorrow!